In Memory

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Finding my place wherever I’m lost. They say love isn’t worth the pain, no matter what it costs. But see lately I haven’t been the same. I’ve got all this pleasure mixed with pain. And fused it all together with loss. But I can’t stop the bleeding, I’m running out of gauze. Pulling away when I’m coming down. I feel you here and I’m stable now. Feel you leave and I lose my mind. A shot to the soul that always leaves me blind. Have I slipped up? How do you see me? Am I only here to bleed out all that you leave me? Made a deal with the Devil I Know. Tried putting the past in the past, hiding under his shadows. See, I’ve heard memories are the way we connect. But I wasn’t thinking that when my best friend took three to the chest. Guilty red stained my shaking hands. I couldn’t ever find a way to meet life’s demands. Couldn’t find a way to cope, couldn’t find a way to deal. I ran into every wall trying to feel how to feel. I tried to kill myself through poison. Put my life into Death’s hands and listened to all the voices. Looked in the mirror and I saw only bones. I feared my existence and all of its unknowns. Deep, dark circles under my eyes. I’m afraid all the hate I gave killed all the love I had inside. I’m empty now and it’s been a while since I thought of him. Harbored suppressed memories but I remember, my light has been dimmed. Been trying to breathe life into Broken Things. But we are products of all the damage we bring. A Trauma Cycle of Familiar Wounds. I fear I’ll never get the chance to finally bloom. My soul has been changed. Scarred beyond recognition. Finding a soul to replace has been my only real mission. Hoping to make the pieces fit. But I’m always misplaced and it’s easy for you to predict. Love, let’s not rush, let’s slow it down. Or we could forget ourselves and get lost in the sound. Are the ghosts that keep me awake the same ones that Haunt you? I promise I’m not always what I’ve been through. My actions painted myself as a wolf in sheep skin. But deep down I was the sheep in the lion’s den. The aftermath of what’s created in my mind. Will my spirit be healed or just left behind? Look, I’ve been trying my hardest to find all the answers. I still Daydream of brighter days and greener pastures. I am not afraid to die nor do I fear living. I’ll continue to pour out my heart as long as you keep filling. I may have been led to feel Lesser. But I will soldier on and let these thoughts flow, Resonate now and forever.

 

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