I can feel you here.
Breaching through my thoughts, crawling in my veins.
When every day’s the same.
I’m tied up, hanging by a thread.
Keep pulling me apart, make me unravel.
Bathe me in the fire that has consumed my heart.
I am spun out. I am wrung out.
Waiting for the sun to sink into my skin.
Light me up like the day you left.
At least I felt alive then.
Consume me until there’s nothing left.
Time keeps repeating its scraping cycle,
like the knots in these nooses.
Which rope do I choose today?
Hang myself out to dry.
Never dead but never truly alive.
I can’t speak out, words trapped at the roof of my mouth.
Falling on swords every step of the way.
I’ll push down these walls, let the earth smother me.
I’m barely here, let the ground swallow me whole.
Sing me to sleep because I keep losing it.
Can’t keep track of the days, I am depleted.
Deprived of any insight to claw my way out.
So I’ll stay alone in the dirt.
Dig this hollow trench into a home.
Wait until the war above is done.
If misery is what’s left to reap,
then time is what I’ll sow.
You will either be my undoing
or my greatest rebirth.