Gravity

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As our feet fumble to find their footing, we get out of bed today. Not hopping, not skipping, not jumping to make that morning coffee. We check to see if the sun still rose, like everyone on social media said it would. It did. Much to our dismay. The dark days sometime seem more comforting than the light ones. Our hearts weigh so heavy but our minds feel so empty. We’re winded. Like the air in our lungs can’t keep our bodies upright enough to stand straight, tall and proud. Shock. The only word that seems to accurately sum up how we feel. If accurately meant nothing at all. We don’t know how to feel, that’s why we go to these meetings and talk about whatever it is our hearts want to say. Our hope is that one day we can understand our emotions and embrace them. But today…today doesn’t feel like a day most of us want to feel. I can bet that tomorrow will feel the same because yesterday was the same. But the days won’t stop coming. It is true, what they say, about the sun still rising. It’s not bound to explode just yet. Our misery is not yet over. Our aching in our chests will continue on. But so will our love. So will our joy. So will our happiness and our laughter. And as we keep pressing on, our feet will find their footing again…until the inevitable collapse of our body with yet another tragedy. And again we will pick up where we left off, soldiering on to the best of our ability. The best our hearts and our minds allow us to. Because we are strong. We are capable. We are Never Alone, Never Again. My friend didn’t die alone. Maybe physically but we were here. Here for him. Here after him. We are here feeling the effects of what it means to be alive long enough to experience loss. A constant cycle of life in death and death in life. One in the same. Both reciprocate the beauty of being human. But today, today being human just hurts. Tomorrow will too. But because of this, we are brought closer together. We hug just a little bit longer. We love just a little bit more. Today I will fight to find the peace you so desperately needed. Tomorrow I will keep fighting to find it. Rest easy my friend, your fight is over. But your memory, your love, your laughter, your impact will live on through all of us. And with that, I say “Thank You.”

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